How to Not Put On the Moves
by Believe In Something Bigger
Summary: Panicking over his love life, a desperate Ponyboy asks Two-Bit for advice on how to make a move on a girl. *one-shot, written for: Vacant Lot July Rumble.


_A/N: Honestly not all too sure how this turned out. This takes place two years after the whole incident, making Pony sixteen. Also, this is for the Rumble over at The Vacant Lot. I've been stuck lately so hopefully this gets my thoughts going again!_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own The Outsiders. Sad, but true.

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><p>"Hope ya'll didn't miss me too much, I'm back!" Two-Bit called, bounding through the front door. He inspected the surroundings of the house and called out another greeting, but he was met with silence once again.<p>

In an attempt to satisfy his boredom he ventured out into the living room only to find Ponyboy sitting on the couch staring at the wall intently. This was not unusual; the kid was practically always zoning out, ignoring everything around him.

"Hey, kid, what's so interesting about that wall over there?" Two-Bit asked curiously, plopping down beside his younger friend.

Ponyboy looked hesitant to answer Two-Bit question, so Two-Bit answered for him: "Oh, Lord. It's about a girl, ain't it?"

Pony felt his cheeks go hot and suddenly his hands became extremely interesting to him, "It sort of is, but it sort of isn't. If that makes sense." he replied, and scratched the back of his head.

"Is Ponyboy gettin' ready to do the deed?" Two-Bit cackled, leaning his head back against the couch. Ponyboy's eyes grew wide and his face turned bright red.

"No!" he yelled defensively, crossing his arms in defiance.

"I figured not. Don't worry, kid, you're too shy not to be a virgin," Two-Bit responded, reaching into his pocket for a light. "Alright, now why don't you tell me what's really eatin' 'atcha. I'm dying to know what kind of ideas go on in that brain of yours," he mumbled, his newly lit cigarette dangling out of the side of his mouth.

Ponyboy glanced off to the kitchen and then back to Two-Bit.

"So … there's this girl …," he started, but was immediately interrupted by Two-Bit.

"Whoa now! Do you gots yourself a girl?" Two-Bit asked, feigning surprise.

"Well, maybe. I want to ask her, but we ain't even kissed yet. I doubt she'd say yes anyways, she's probably got buckets more experience than me. She'd probably laugh in my face if I even made a move to kiss her. She'd probably—,"

"Damn, kid. Don't sell yourself short. First of all, before I go and give you my precious advice, do I know this girl?"

Ponyboy's eyes shifted first to the floor and then back to his hands as he avoided Two-Bit's gaze.

"It's Leo Canter's younger sister, Emma. I sit next to her in Spanish," Pony said, looking up at Two-Bit to see his reaction. Two-Bit whistled, and raised his eyebrows at Pony's answer. Before Two-Bit could reply, Ponyboy cut him off: "I know he's a real hood 'n' all, but she's a real nice girl, and not a tramp," Pony interjected.

"Yeah, I believe it, but kid; you just _had_ to pick a chick with an overprotective brother, didn't ya? Alright, here's some of my advice on what _not_ to do. You better listen up and listen up good, kid …"

_It was a Friday night a couple of years ago, and I had just gotten back from dropping off Soda and Steve at your place after school. Once I dropped them off I went on my merry way to pick up Kathy Danielson for our … third date, I believe it was. I got there in record time—well, for me anyway. _

_I knocked on the door like the gentleman I am and guess who answers the door, her big brother with a crying kid in his arms, wouldn't it figure? _

_So anyways, I said, "I'm here to pick up Kathy."_

_He leaned his back against the door frame coolly, shifting the little girl to his other arm and replied, "Well, that's a bummer because it's her turn to babysit tonight." Then she comes around the corner all dolled up, lookin' a bit frazzled, but still gorgeous—it takes a lot to ruffle her feathers, if you know what I mean. She invites me into her house apologizing a mile a minute, talking 'bout how sorry she is that she had to babysit her kid sister that night. I forgave her of course, telling her all about Mary Grace and how I completely understood, then like the model citizen I am I offered to help her babysit her sister. She immediately agreed and soon enough we made our way into her kitchen to figure out what we were gonna do._

_We all started to color at the kitchen table with crayons, when Kathy got up to go to the bathroom, I stayed there with Michelle, mindin' my own business when Kathy calls for me down the hall. I of course went to go to tend to her needs when she comes out of nowhere and starts to kiss me. After a few minutes it turns into a full make-out session; tongues and all, right in the middle of the hallway. It was getting real intense until I heard a scream and some angry footsteps. Standing there in all his glory was Kathy's big brother and little Michelle. He started to cuss me out, but I didn't exactly stick around to hear the end of it. Once he started towards me shaking his fist I ran out like the devil was there to give me my sentencing. Hell, I was fifteen I was about to piss my pants at an eighteen-year-old hood threatening to beat my head in, I booked it straight down the hallway and out the front door with Greg Danielson screaming his head off at me the whole way. _

Two-Bit paused for a moment, looking over at Ponyboy who was deeply into his story, with his chin propped up on his palm.

"And _that _my good friend was the first and _last_ time I ever made a move on a girl in her own house," Two-Bit stated with finality. "Think you can manage to hold yourself back from doin' that, you Casanova?"

Ponyboy's eyes narrowed, "Hell, yeah, I can. I don't have the self-control of a two-year-old like you."

"Smartass …" Two-Bit muttered to himself, inhaling his cigarette.

_A/N: I'm kind of iffy about this, so please be honest in your reviews if anything looked weird. Thanks! (:_


End file.
